I was watching Lisa Ling’s “Our America” on schooling children (I love her series!).  One family ‘unschools’ their children.  I know they promote discovery.  I think this is very important for children to be able to develop themselves as individuals.  I was wondering though, how do the parent’s interests play into that?  Are they somehow unknowingly coerced in a certain direction?

I truly think children need to be exposed to situations and people who are very different than us.  How do you expose your children to thinking and seeing life in a different way?  What may your persuasions be?

Melinda Ferguson and I have just launched a pilot research study on the effect of taking placenta capsules on postpartum mood disorders.  It is a small pilot that we hope will provide enough intriguing results that funders will be interested in supporting a full research study on placenta encapsulation.  If you know of anyone who meets the following criteria and is interested in participating in the study (either taking placenta capsules or not), please have them contact me.

• Pregnant with their first baby
• Pregnant with only one baby
• Due between April 1 and September 1, 2011
• 25-38 years old
• Living with their partner during pregnancy and during the study period
• Planning an out-of-hospital birth
• At-risk for postpartum mood disorders, such as (but not limited to):                                 – History of mental health problems in self or family                                                         -Family history of mood disorders                                                                                     -History of PMS or sensitivity to other hormonal shifts
• Willing to volunteer their time for this study

1. What do you think the most common question parents ask about car seats?
“What is the best car seat?”  We would assume the most expensive one or the one with the most bells and whistles would be best.  In actuality, the best car seat is the one that fits your child, fits your vehicle, and you can install it correctly every time.  Is isn’t necessarily the most expensive.

2. Where do you think car seat straps should be?
I have four kids.  When I went through the car seat certifying class, this was one thing I had never heard before.    Do you think they should be below, at, or above the shoulders?  It actually depends on what kind of car seat.  For rear facing, the straps should be at or below the shoulders.  For forward facing, the straps should be at or above the shoulders.

3. Do you uses the LATCH system (I’m not talking about a breastfeeding latch)?
(If you have no idea what it is, it stands for Lower Anchors and Tethers for Children. Go here for a further explanation)Two of the most commonmistakes are about the LATCH system and how it works.  Do you think it is safer to use both the seat belt and LATCH system together?  Do you think you should only use one?  You would think, at least I did, using the LATCH system and the seat belt together, should double protect the child, right?  Nope, using both together actually compromises the other.  You should only use one belting system.  The next logical question is…….

4. “Which one is the best?”
Whichever one can be properly used each time you put the car seat in the vehicle.  This goes along with using the LATCH on the outboard seat positions.  The safest place for a car seat is the center position.  Some vehicles only have LATCH on outboard positions.  If this is true, a properly used seat belt is safer in the center than LATCH on the outboard.  Some cars only have LATCH in the center position so if you have more than on child, using a seat belt is more realistic.  Because of the various models of cars, it’s best to check the car manual for the most accurate information on how LATCH works for your car.  Just remember, you can’t share the hooks.  Only one clip per hook.

5. The one message I want to shout from the mountain tops.  I tell EVERYONE who has a baby.  Keep your baby rear facing as long as possible. If you choose an infant seat as your first car seat, purchase a convertible one next.  It can handle more weight rear facing and then you can turn it forward facing once the child has reached the maximum rear facing weight.   My 16 month old is still rear facing in a convertible seat. Usually people look at me like I have grown another head and I hear the “Yea, but the law says 20lbs and 1 year old”.  It is almost like a rite of passage for the family to forward face the baby.  I tell them, if you saw the crash test difference between the same size child rear facing versus forward facing, you will keep your child rear facing until their legs are crossing.  Children have died from being forward facing when they could/should have been rear facing.  The state law is the minimum, but not necessarily the safest.  That rear facing baby is the safest person in the car.

6. How do you know when the straps are tight enough?
My personal philosophy, when they are buckled in and tightened, give it one last tug.  My husband always tells me how uncomfortable our child must be.  My response, “they aren’t crying so it must not be painful.”  Do you want to know the test to tell if the straps need another tug?  Try to pinch some slack up at the shoulders.  If you can pinch any slack, tighten it up.  You shouldn’t be able to pinch any slack.

7. Where do you think the retainer clip should be?
At the nipples or at the arm pits?  Correct answer, at the arm pits.  You want the child snug.  If there was a crash, you don’t want the child slipping out the top and flying out the top.

8. For older children wearing seat belts with or without a booster, the proper placement is crucial. It is important that the belt hits the 2 strongest parts of the body.  The shoulder strap should hit the shoulder.  The lap portion should be over the hip bones.  This is also true of an adult. Make sure to adjust the belt every time you put it on and remind older children each time you get in the car to correctly adjust their belt too.  If the belt is close to the neck, the child needs to be higher in the seat. If the child is legally ready to go without a booster and the belt is too close, they aren’t safely ready to retire the booster seat just yet. For a pregnant mama, make sure the belt is at the shoulder and the lap belt is under the belly across the hips.  We do not want the lap belt across the belly because in the case of a crash, the unborn baby can be severely injured or killed.  Seat belt safety for kids starts when they are still growing inside mommy.

9. One of the biggest misconceptions is how tight the car seat needs to be buckled in. Did you know it can move up to 1 inch?  Most people grab it at the top to test it.  It actually needs to be tested at the belt path.  Give it a little shake.

10. We must  be very conscious of what we have in the car as well as what is around the baby. We want the baby as close to touching the back of the car seat as possible.  If it’s cold, buckle in the baby then put the blanket over them.  Many times our newborns are too small for even an infant seat.  It is ok to roll up receiving blankets and place them around the child and in between their legs (create an upside down U shape where the sides of the blanket are on each side of the buckle).  Also, with some cars, getting the right angle of the seat can be a little tricky.  Having the perfect angle is incredibly important with a newborn.  They don’t have the head control yet and depend on the seat to give them that.  If the baby is tipped to far forward, it can cut off their airway.  This is why we aren’t supposed to keep them in their seats to sleep or for a long period of time.  To get that perfect angle, we use pool noodles.  You can cut them to the perfect length for your car and place them in the crease or byte of the car.  Keep in mind every loose object in your vehicle can become a projectile during a crash.  I will spare you the math of figuring out how fast something can travel.  Look in your car, pick up a loose object, and imagine someone throwing that at your head as hard as they can.  Many people are killed in crashes by projectiles rather than from the actual crash.

Let me know if you have any questions.  I’d be more than happy to answer them!

Anyone interested in joining a study on nursing while fasting please

keep reading….!!!

I saw the topic of fasting while nursing came up and when I was
approaching my first Ramadan as a nursing mommy, I (coming from a
science/medical background) decided to see if there were any research
studies on the topic. I found just one study looking at Muslim women
and it only studied, I think, 12 women. Anyhow, every year the topic
comes up and mommies look to other mommies for advice and it usually
goes both ways….some mommies saying it makes milk supply go down,
others saying they were able to do it just fine. So this year I am
working on studying the topic myself. I am still working out the
details of the study but I just realized how quickly Ramadan is
approaching so I need to get the word out ASAP so that I can get as
many people to participate as possible. The study will be looking at
a number of different factors and try to see which, if any, help to
determine which women will be able to fast while nursing and which
women will have troubles with milk supply or not be able to fast for
other reasons.

At this point, the minimum I need is anyone that is breastfeeding that
is willing to try fasting and do some record-keeping (ie food eaten
each day, # of ounces of fluid taken each day). I may also need a pre
and post-Ramadan baby weight check. So if anyone is interested (and
please please pass this around to all women, all around the world
even) please email me at saadiap@gmail.com

At this point, I would like to exclude women who are also pregnant,
and women who are already experiencing milk supply problems, and
women who are increasingly using formula (since the milk supply may
already be going down due to formula use). Once I get an interest
list, I will email out the specifics.

Please make dua that this is a successful study and helps us to answer
the age old question of whether fasting while nursinng will decrease
milk supply!

And again…please pass this on to every nursing mommy you know!

Jazak’Allahu khayran,

Saadia

It saddens me that our c-section rate is going up and women don’t get that amazing pride of pushing out their baby. We have fought for the right to choice.  We so easily give up that choice to our care provider.  We have fought for options, however, we don’t explore them when it comes to having a baby.  If you are pregnant, research all of your options.   If your doctor tells you something and it doesn’t make sense, ask why.  If the doctor is concerned about something, go home,  do some research about it (unless of course it is life threatening to you or your baby), and find other women who have had the same experience.

For birth, the easiest way is to hire a doula.  If you can’t or don’t want to, do some research on different positions to labor and push in. The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is well worth the investment!  If there is one book to get for pregnancy, find this one.  It’s a great conversation starter for your partner to help prepare him too. When you are in the midst of labor, you are more emotional and less analytical. Make sure you have a simple birth plan so the staff knows your wishes. Discuss your wishes with those who will be in the birthing room so they can speak up for you if need be and if there is a complication, they can rationally help you think through it.

Here is a post I did awhile back about advocating for yourself

Remember, if you choose a natural birth, when you start asking for drugs, you are in transition and pushing will commence shortly so hold on because you are almost there.

I know how daunting it can be to choose a care provider.  It is a huge decision and overwhelming when you consider all the choices!  You are trusting the health and safety of yourself and your unborn baby to this person.  The Birth Survey wants to step in and fill that gap.  If all the women who have given birth in the last 3 years took a few minutes to fill out a small survey on their specific care providers and specific place of birth, we could have a powerful database women can use to get the skinny on their local options.  We can all help (and use) to create this tool so women can make more informed choices.

Fill out your survey then search for reviews on your care provider and anticipated place of birth (we all know sometimes our bathroom or car get that glorious title instead of a hospital or birth center).

What do you wish your parents had done differently?
What did you appreciate about how your parents handled physical health?
What were your habits pre-pregnancy?
What habits do you want to change/keep?
Where are you on the spectrum between fast food for every meal and everything organic with no candy or fast food?
Do you anticipate the veggie fight (not every family does)?
What do you envision the dinner time experience to be in 10 years?
Are you all around the table, or are you all sharing a couch?
What food is on your plate?
Do you plan to cook meals?
Do you want to raise your children as vegetarians or as meat and potato people?
What ethnic foods do you want your children to experience?
What type of example do you want to model for them?

Maybe this is the perfect time to change your own habits for the better. Perhaps you have never given it a thought or maybe it is a daily decision. What one or two things can you easily change? What one or two things are a bit of a stretch but doable?

Now, if you are good with the awareness these questions have brought you, you don’t have to read on. If there are areas you want to change, keep reading.

Close your eyes, envision what you want your life to look like in 10 years. Really feel it, smell it, touch it, taste it, see it. Do you have that life strongly anchored in your mind?

Now make goals short term (perhaps when you bring the baby home), medium (when your baby is about age 5 and habits are formed), long term (that 10 years).
Make them:
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time framed

Now that you have goals, set yourself up for success. For instance, if you have a goal to eat 5 fruits and veggies a day, make sure your fridge is always well stocked with them. Maybe take it a step further, set aside a space in your fridge to put your fruits and veggies for that day. If your goal is to eat less sugar, just don’t keep it in your house. If vending machines are a weakness, just don’t take cash to work with you.

As you are preparing the baby’s room, stocking up on diapers, and going to all those appointments, why not take some time to think about how you want to parent that sweet bundle? Use this as a fresh start if there are things in your life you want to change. What better way to honor your baby then a happy, healthy parent?

I believe Thanksgiving is much like Valentine’s day.  Why only one day do we need to reflect on being thankful?  Being thankful should be a lifestyle.  What a great gift to pass on to your future generations (did I mention it’s free?)!  In our house we aren’t rich and life hasn’t always been smooth, however, we are always thankful for what we DO have.  Because of this, my children are some of the most giving children I know (I’m not just bragging I promise).  There is always someone in a worse position!

You may have a tough pregnancy (Oh, can I tell you about that), you may be struggling to get pregnant, or you may  have a sick child.  There is always something to be thankful for.  You will find when you start with the little things (yes, as simple as a dry, warm house), the bigger things come to mind.  Your attitude and heart are changed.

I dare you to ponder those things you are thankful for with a scowl on your face.  Can you do it?  I thought not:)  Go, pass on the attitude of gratitude to those around you, especially that one person who always irks you.

The Embrace incubator

You always hear “the experts” telling you to ask questions.  Weren’t we raised to be nice girls?  We aren’t supposed to question those in authority (for all the schooling the doctors sure do deserve some authority haha).  I always viewed myself as being informed and asking all the questions I had, especially with the complications pregnancy brings to my life.

Maybe it’s the fact it’s number four, or perhaps I feel empowered by the books I am studying to become a doula.  I don’t know for sure.  I have asked any question that has come into my head without hesitation.  I find myself speaking up more.  Example, your random fact for the day….Did you know the blood pressure cuff doesn’t actually measure your heart?  I thought it measured the intake and outflow at the heart.  The top number is the number when the blood starts flowing through the cuff and the bottom number is when blood is fully flowing.  I just learned that one last week and it was by asking.  Although I love those caring for me and would recommend them to anyone, I feel like I have some control over my health (my PICC line is a great example of that one!  I was persistent and got it.)

Don’t be afraid to ask questions, even if they are as silly as how a blood pressure cuff works.  I have found the nurses and doctors are more than happy to explain it to you.  If they aren’t, it is time to find others who do.  You deserve good care!  Think of this as good practice.  If your child’s teacher mentions your child having a hard time at school, wouldn’t you ask tons of questions?  In a way, not only are you advocating for your own body, but you are beginning to be the advocate for that little baby swimming in your uterus.  If you feel lost or timid, visit your local library.  There is such great power in books!  The Birth Partner is a fantastic book to get you started.  Don’t be afraid to ask questions!  The more you ask, the empower you will be to make good choices for you and your baby.

i do have to confess i was a pregnant bride. i use the term bride loosely however. We didn’t want to deal with the finances or hassle of planning a wedding (have you ever seen the show Bridezilla? That would have been me!). On July 18th, i found myself at the Justice of the Peace in a cute summer dress from Walmart($8.88 mind you), my hubby to be, my 6 month old Chandlur, 3 friends, and about 6 weeks pregnant.  At the time not very many knew about our little Cozette on the way because we didn’t want people thinking that was why we were getting married.  If i was showing, i think it would have felt weird though.

What do you think?  Would you/have you waited until baby came to get married?  Are you a confident woman who wears a maternity wedding dress with the grace of a queen?