One of those never ending debates among women…how far apart?  I come across numerous pregnant women and new mommies who ask this question.  Should they be close together or further apart?  How many years is best?  How long does it take for my body to recover from pregnancy and childbirth?

A report was published last December about the biological aspect.  Here is an article going over the results of that study.  It concluded that the first 6 months postpartum are vital for the mommy’s body to heal itself.  Waiting 11 months to conceive is recommended.  The article discusses the risk factors and statistics if you are interested in reading that aspect.

Some of the other details of child spacing that need to be considered are; Are both parents mentally and emotionally ready to add more responsibility?  What are the pros and cons of the sibling relationship if they are close in age or further apart?   Thinking ahead to when the kids graduate high school, how old do you want to be?  Is there a cut off age the mommy wants for being pregnant?

There is no exact, magic number.  It is a decision that each couple needs to make taking their lifestyle, opinions, and expectations into consideration.  If you are pondering this for your own life, take out a piece of paper, consider the questions, and write down your answers (there is something about writing them down).  Then, for the next few days just let your mind simmer.  After a few days revisit your answers.  Have they changed?  Are they still the same?  If they have changed, write down the new answers, again letting your mind simmer for a few days.  Keep doing this process until your answers remain the same.

Hopefully the questions prompted your mind to consider more questions to answer.  Leave a comment and let me know the questions you came up with.  Also, if you are one considering this for your own life, I would love to hear your thoughts!

After any major event, it is good for us to stop and reflect on what took place, how we feel about it, and what we can learn from it. Childbirth is definitely a major event! Many women years later are still very emotional about all that took place (good and bad). For some the experience is a dream, however, for many there are parts that didn’t go so great. We know when we have moved passed a negative event when we can recall the event with calm emotion. Reflecting is a great way to sort through the positive and negative emotions, as well as learn the lessons we are being taught. It is only when we learn the lessons life offers that we get to move through onto a greater awareness and new experiences. If we don’t stop to learn what life teaches, we will be caught in the same cycle until we do. It may manifest itself in a different way, nonetheless, the essence of the lesson will be there waiting for our discovery. Let’s celebrate the positive and digest the negative of this life changing moment.

Describe the experience (factually, no emotions).
It helps to stand back as if just an observer. Pretend you are a “fly on the wall”. Be as
unbiased and objective as possible.
What was the succession of events?
Where were you?
Who was there?
Are there parts you don’t remember or are hazy?
What were people saying?
What thoughts went through your head?
Now, add in the feelings.
What were your different feelings through the whole experience? Why?
What was your partner feeling?
How did you know the feelings of those around you?
How was your body feeling? Was it tense and stressed? Was it relaxed and calm?
Reflection.
Why did you act as you did?
What alternative choices could you have made? What could the outcome have
been?
Were your goals and expectations met? Why or why not.
What was good and bad about the experience?
What were your assumptions at the beginning? Did they help or hinder you?
What internal/external factors influenced your decision making and actions?
Your new insight and learning.
How will this experience affect future choices?
What did you learn about yourself?
What did you learn about those around you?
Have your assumptions changed? Why or why not.
If the situation arises again, what would you do differently?
Share what you have learned with a close friend and be proud of your accomplishments!

I will be honest, I am not a pet lover. Just don’t tell my little one who wants to be a vet when he grows up. I never really gave pets and newborns much thought until I was approached by a dog trainer in a referral network I belong to.

You have your sweet puppy or kitty curled up on your bed at night. Enter, new baby. All of a sudden adorable pooch is banned to the floor confused and annoyed at this new thing taking up it’s territory. Pets need to start being prepared as soon as the test comes back with a positive.

Here are some great articles to get you started:
The Humane Society
Baby Center

A great video with an education officer from the RSPCA:

If you are in the Portland area and want to meet with a dog trainer, go to http://cooperativedogtraining.com/

Have you hit your due date and ready to be done?  Do you want to avoid as many medical interventions as possible?  This is a video of natural pressure points that can get those contractions started.  Please use with caution and only after you have passed your due date!

Anchoring

Step 1
Think about how you want to feel when you’re birthing your baby, perhaps one of relaxation, feeling in control, or confidence?

Step 2
Now think about a time when you experienced those feelings, bring that moment clear into your mind and everything about that moment. What could you see, what could you feel, smell, taste, really use all of your senses to bring back that memory as vividly as possible.

Step 3
Anchor that feeling either by pressing your thumb and forefinger together, or by associating it to specific music or a specific picture.

Step 4
Repeat this process and each time experience the feeling more vividly and use the same anchor.

Step 5
During birth, or whenever you want to experience that feeling again, use the anchor and those feelings will wash over you.

To ensure they continue to be effective, anchors need to be distinctive, unique, intense and reinforced.

Remember that all of these techniques are not only useful during pregnancy and birth, but also when looking after your baby as well as passing these skills and techniques on to them as they grow up.

There are many more techniques out there which can be learned, if you are interested in an NLP course then contact the original Society of NLP which was founded by Richard Bandler. You can find courses and seminars on this website: www.purenlp.com

Juliet is the founder of the “Natural Birth | Birthdownload” website and the creator of the antenatal programme The Psychology of Giving Birth. You can also follow her on Twitter.

As pregnant women we are inundated with the message of eating well while our cravings don’t comply.  One aspect of our wellness we need to hear more about is our posture.  I know I sound like your mom, “sit up straight!”, “stop dragging your feet!”.  Tune out mom’s voice and keep reading.

As you are sitting here reading this, did you just straighten up a little?  As you are sitting (straight with your core engaged), put your hands under your buttocks.  Do you feel a bone poking out on either side?  These are your “sit” bones.  Now, hunch over and give that core a break.  You don’t feel those bones, right?  Your pelvis is now tipped backward which can encourage your baby to change their position in your uterus.  Prolonged bad posture can cause your baby to be in an unfavorable position for birth.  This can cause a longer labor and “back” labor (most of your pain is centered on the lower back)

You want a labor as short as possible and the most pain you can eliminate the better, right?  Pay attention to posture!  Here are a couple great articles on pregnancy and posture.  Dr Sears and WebMD

For those you who are as addicted to Facebook as I am, here is a super cool app.  While you are at it, become a fan of us.