Rock Star Maternity » Everything Else

Unschooling Your Child?

admin — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 00:04:12 +0000

Not only do we pass on eye color, but we pass on who they will become. I hada show on where the dad is a police officer and he teaches his children about 911. They were even able to go to the call center. I am a doula and going to school to become a nurse practioner. What do I think is important to teach my children? We are always talking about the body, health, and and lots of chemistry.

I was watching Lisa Ling’s “Our America” on schooling children (I love her series!). One family ‘unschools’ their children. I know they promote discovery. I think this is very important for children to be able to develop themselves as individuals. I was wondering though, how do the parent’s interests play into that? Are they somehow unknowingly coerced in a certain direction?

I truly think children need to be exposed to situations and people who are very different than us. How do you expose your children to thinking and seeing life in a different way? What may your persuasions be?

Do You REALLY Not Like Your Child?

admin — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 20:55:06 +0000

Are you ashamed to say you don’t like your child? Does it cause you to feel like a failure? In this month’s issue of Redbook Magazine, one mother wrote a provocative article about her experience with motherhood. From the moment her little girl was born, she said she didn’t feel that connection. As her daughter got older, she didn’t hit the typical milestones and the wedge grew deeper. She went on to have another daughter and experienced an immediate bond. She eventually sought medical help and found out her daughter had a growth hormone problem. After her child was on medication, she says she began to feel connected to her and her daughter became more “normal”.

This is a part of motherhood no one wants to talk about. As with breastfeeding, we are led to believe when the baby comes out, all is perfect. When the fact of the matter really is, there is a learning curve for both baby and mama. It isn’t always rainbows, glitter, and unicorns. Ya know what? It’s o.k! Yes, I said, that feeling (or lack there of) is o.k! Even better, you aren’t the only one! If you have never known someone who shares your frustrating experience, now you have. Our second little one was very sick when she was born and spent some time in the NICU. After she came home, that first year was full of crying (both of us), projectile vomiting, and many doctor visits. We never really bonded because I was so exhausted caring for this little baby that I couldn’t muster any affectionate feelings. When she grew into toddlerhood, I had to put forth great effort to have those affectionate feelings. I thought it very sad that I had to put forth effort to enjoy my child. I’m supposed to be her mommy, for goodness sake. As time went on, I had to put forth less and less effort. Now, the bond is the same as with my other 3.

Even to say we love our child but don’t always like them seems taboo. Isn’t this true though? Your precious little toddler is extra quiet. You go to investigate. Upon turning the corner you see your favorite lipstick smoothered all over the wall, your toddler’s face, and ground into the carpet. At this moment, while you will always love your precious cherub, I would venture to say you don’t like them much at that moment. Perhaps your child has a habit that just gets under your skin. It’s o.k, just think about your own parents and what drove them nuts.

We place such high expectations of motherhood. When the expectations aren’t met, we feel like we somehow failed. Recently my hubby and I have had conversations about the pressures placed upon us. I have a confession, my kids don’t bath every single day and we don’t read them bedtime stories while they are nestled in bed. Instead of focusing on what society expects of you, stop and go within. Think about your values and what you want to pass on to your children. Don’t focus so much on being the perfect mommy, instead focus on teaching your children the values you want them to possess. If you mess up, that’s quite o.k. Apologize and move on. After all, we are human BEINGS, not human DOERS. If you are struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out, there is always someone who knows how you feel.

FDA Says ‘Stop Using Sleep Positioners’

admin — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 19:03:28 +0000

I have much younger siblings and remember the gear we used to take care of them. Sometimes I am one of those “remember when we used…….” I mean really, how safe was it to have the baby in their car seat up front next to my mom driving? We knew nothing about BPA’s. I could go on and on sitting here laughing at the fight of whose turn it was to wind the swing back up.

The FDA and Consumer Product Safety Commission are reniging their approval of sleep positioners. They suggest consumers stop using them immediately and reiterate not to have anything in the crib other than a small blanket and baby. In the past 13 years there has been 12 reported deaths from suffocation due to these sleep positioners. The Commission has received dozens of reports of babies who were placed on their back then were found later to have rolled to crazy positions inside the positioner or even outside the positioner. FDA pediatric expert Susan Cummins, M.D., M.P.H, says “The safest crib is a bare crib. Always put your baby on his or her back to sleep. An easy way to remember this is to follow the ABC’s of safe sleep—Alone on the Back in a Bare Crib.””

For the companies that have previously received approval, the FDA is requiring them to submit data proving the benefits outweigh the risks. They are also requesting the manufacturing companies suspend production of anymore until they have reviewed the data and can confidently say the benefits outweigh the risks.

Perhaps these will become another item we look back at and laugh saying ‘remember when we used sleep positioners?’

Hurry Up and Wait on Motherhood

admin — Mon, 17 May 2010 22:44:23 +0000

As I sit here in the waiting room waiting to rejoin my client who’s VBAC ended with a c-section, I am reminded how much of fertility, pregnancy, and childbirth is waiting. As the saying goes “hurry up and wait”. We wait for each time of ovulation to hopefully get pregnant this cycle. We wait for the next doctor appointment to see how we are doing and when we get there, we wait some more. We wait those last few weeks when we feel like a house and are ready to meet our little one, we wait for birthing day. Once labor pains begin, we wait on our bodies to tell us when to push. Once our baby has been born, we wait to get the “all clear” to go back to our full schedules. Perhaps all of this waiting is preparing us for the immense amount of love, patience, and nuturing we need to care for a child. We mothers must be good at waiting right? Maybe for some of us, it’s in our DNA. I know for some (myself included), waiting can be as challenging as those labor pains. I think a perfect balance of hurry up waiting and savoring the moment is within our reach. Savor the moments that make us feel alive, those moments our children steal our hearts yet again (yes, you know those moments, when you feel you could burst because of the love for them). There are so many lessons our children are waiting to teach us, we just need to slow down and notice. You can hurry up and wait when they are teenagers and you find yourself on the couch because curfew is soon approaching. While they are small and even not yet born, savor the moments. I know it’s a trite phrase, but it is so true “they grow up so fast”. Even if you don’t have the pleasure of being surrounded by children, stop and remember the amazingness children bring to our lives, the lessons they teach, the love they so freely give, the laughter that is never far from their tongue, and their awesome curiosity. If a child is near you, hug them and let them know how much they are loved.

One of the silly games I play with my kids……

“Why do I love you?” I ask

“Because I’m __________ (fill in the name).” they answer

One of the silly games I play with my kids……

“Why do I love you?” I ask

“Because I’m __________ (fill in the name).” they answer

Baby Sling Safety

admin — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 22:59:24 +0000

There has been controversy over the safety of baby slings lately. When used properly, they can be such a useful tool for us busy mamas. Here is a quick video from the tv show The Doctors on how to properly use a sling.

Baby Sling Safety

The Modern Baby Circa 1936

admin — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 19:27:41 +0000

One of my favorite books is called The Best Loved Poems of the American People. It is a compilation of poetry with a copyright date of 1936. I recently came across a poem I had to share. It is fascinating to see we have come full circle in our infant care. Another interesting point, this sarcastic poem is written by a man. Here is your laugh for the day.

The Modern Baby

“The hand that rocks the cradle”–but there is no such hand;

It is bad to rock the baby, they would have us understand;

So the cradle’s but a relic of the former foolish days

When mothers reared their children in unscientific ways–

When they jounced them and they bounced them, these poor dwarfs of long ago–

The Washingtons and Jeffersons and Adamses, you know.

They warn us that the baby will possess a muddled brain

If we dandle him or rock him–we must carefully refrain;

He must lie in one position, never swayed and never swung,

Or his chance to grow to greatness will be blasted while he’s young.

Ah! To think how they were ruined by their mothers long ago–

The Franklins and the Putnams and the Hamiltons, you know.

Then we must feed the baby by the schedule that is made,

And the food that he is given must be measured out or weighed.

He may bellow to inform us that he isn’t satisfied,

But he couldn’t grow to greatness if his wants were all supplied.

Think how foolish nursing stunted those poor weaklings, long ago–

The Shakespeares and the Luthers and the Buonapartes, you know.

We are given a great mission, we are here today on earth

To bring forth a race of giants, and to guard them from their brith,

To insist upon their freedom from the rocking that was bad

For our parents and their parents, scrambling all the brains they had.

Ah! If they’d been fed by schedule would they have been stunted so?

The Websters and the Lincolns and the Roosevelts, you know.

The Government’s Guide to Childbirth

admin — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 20:04:58 +0000

This is the U.S. Department of Defense’s guide on emergency childbirth. I think if doctors adhered to this, there would be many changes in our world; the US rate for maternal deaths during childbirth would decrees instead of increase, it would save some serious dough for the insurance companies who would pass along those savings, there would be many more women confident with their body, and interventions would be kept to a minimum.

Emergency Childbirth

A Reference Guide for Students

Medical Self-Help Training Course

Lesson No. 11

Emergency Childbirth

What To Do

1. Let nature be your best helper. Childbirth is a very natural act.

2. At first signs of labor assign the best qualified person to remain with mother.

3. Be calm; reassure mother.

4. Place mother and attendant in the most protected place in the shelter.

5. Keep children and others away.

6. Keep hands as clean as possible

7. Keep hands away from birth canal

8. See the babybr! eathes well.

9. Place the baby face down across the mother’s abdomen.

10. Keep baby warm.

11. Wrap afterbirth with baby.

12. Keep baby with mother constantly.

13. Make mother as comfortable as possible.

14. Identify baby.

What Not To Do

1. DO NOT hurry.

2. DO NOT pull on baby, let baby be born naturally.

br! >

3. DO NOT pull on the cord, let the placenta (afterbirth) come naturally.

4. DO NOT cut and tie the cord until the baby AND the afterbirth have been delivered.

5. DO NOT give medication.

DO NOT HURRY – LET NATURE TAKE HER COURSE.

{emphasis is not mine – I copied this exactly as written}

The Blog is Hormonal Today

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 19:52:34 +0000

I do apologize, the blog is going through some hormonal fluctuations. She has taken a mind of her own and developed an attitude. She should be in working order very soon! I am off to offer her some chocolate as a peace offering.

Fear and the Closing Cervix

admin — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 19:33:18 +0000

During labor it can be hard to relax. It is painful and our natural instinct is to tense our bodies. This tension can have a very negative effect. When we experience pain and allow it to bring fear, our fear brings tension which creates more pain. It is a cycle created by Grantley Dick-Read to explain how emotional responses contribute to pain. The opposite can be true too. When we experience pain if we can manage our fear, our tension is reduced, and we will experience less pain.

With fear, our fight or flight response is activated. The adrenaline our body releases begins to give our limbs more of the blood supply which takes away that blood supply from our internal organs (i.e. where baby has taken up temporary residence). Also, our bodies produce epinephrine. This causes the the muscles near the cervix to tighten which prevents the cervix from dilating. Back when we were cave women, this would be useful. The body naturally sought out a quiet, safe place to birth the baby. When that safety was threatened, we needed to find another safe place to birth our baby.

Skip ahead to modern day. Stop and think what this could do to your labor. What happens when the cervix doesn’t dilate? It can make the labor process take more time or cause doctors to intervene. The doctor may give pitocen to speed things up, he may even send you home saying labor hasn’t progressed far enough. Sometimes the doctor may say we have stalled and we are rushed in for a cesarean surgery. If there isn’t enough time for an epidural to take effect, the anestheologist would then knock us out. How would that make you feel if you didn’t hear your baby’s first cry?

This is the sad truth for some women. It can also have long lasting negative feelings in the new mommy. Sounds like a rotten way to begin motherhood, huh? It is incredibly important to have a support team you trust. If there is a particular aspect of childbirth that you fear, seek out evidence based information. Knowledge IS power. Oh, and hire a doula (my shameless plug). A good doula is well worth the money!

Women’s Anatomy Old School–1774

admin — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 20:59:40 +0000

This is a copper plate engraving from 1774 by William Hunter (anatomist) and Jan van Riemsdyk (artist).

Do You Need Some Denim Therapy?

admin — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:50:18 +0000

Want to save a buck AND look fabulous? With simple fabric and an ingenious idea, Denim Therapy has done it. You send them your jeans, they fix ‘em up to fit your growing belly, then they send them back to you. After your little one is born, and you have gotten back to your prepregnancy weight, they will restore them back to the jean’s original fabulousness.

Great idea because:

1. save money

2. look amazing

3. motivation to not go back for another round of ice cream

An Unfriendly Woman’s Clinic

admin — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 21:37:34 +0000

This particular picture disturbed me. I am a Facebook junkie (just ask my hubby). I am a fan of a Doula service in Pennsylvania. She always posts such great articles she comes across. Apparently the doctors who run this joint don’t do much research. I can understand how some doctors are weary of doulas. Some of them can be pushy, however, most are not. HOWEVER, the Bradley Method? Really?! I used this method with my 2 natural births without even knowing it and have done some research on it. Docs should be encouraging it to make their job easier. Here’s the pic, you decide……..

We No Longer Have a “Condition”

admin — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:06:21 +0000

I am a Mad Men lover. I have been catching up online and recently watched the episode where Betty has the new baby. I am reminded what having children used to be like. I hear the stories, however, it never seems real because I wasn’t alive back then. It was a “condition”, they wore huge tents, they only guessed at the sex, and fathers weren’t involved. Now we have 3D ultra sounds, celebrate our womanly curves, and the fathers are right next to us hopefully giving encouragement. I am constantly amazed at technology! This reality wasn’t very long ago,and to see how far pregnancy has come. I watched this episode with a heart of gratitude. It wasn’t long ago NAIT was unknown. My condition wasn’t discovered until the mid 90’s and even then doctors weren’t sure how to treat it. If I had been just 10 years older, I would only have one baby instead of my magnificent 4. Every time I am reminded of this, tears come to my eyes.

If you are pregnant, know someone who is, or just had your baby, ponder this. Have a heart full of gratitude that medicine has come so far, and daddies are now included. Oh, and there are some really hot maternity clothing.

A pb&j A Day Keeps The ER Away

admin — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 00:40:28 +0000

What person wouldn’t want the excuse to eat a pb&j sandwhich every day? There are kids who have been prescribed this exact therapy. The parents of these children wrote off having any peanut products in their home due to severe allergies in their children. Recently Duke Unversity and Arkansas Children’s Hospital have conducted small studies to find a way to desenitize children to peanuts and help their immune system to change and recognize peanuts differently. They started with a peanut flour consisting of one-thousandth of a nut. Gradually they increased the consumption to approximately 15 nuts a day. Now these participants are to continue consuming some form of peanuts every day. This is hope for the 1.8 million people who fear eating outside their home, and the 6-8% of parents with kids under four who fear snacks at playdates. The next step will be finding what causes the allergy, creating a test, and fixing it before the allergy presents itself. We have been advised not to feed peanut products to children under one. Maybe during this first year we will be able to test children for a possible allergy.

Worries Of Obesity In My Infant

admin — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 03:46:22 +0000

It’s amazing all the stuff companies send you when you have a baby. I got the American Baby magazine (July issue) the other day. As I was looking through it, an article jumped out at me and I had a heated conversation with myself (some HAVE called me crazy). I’m not sure if I am outraged or just sad.

I know obesity is a huge problem in America. I have my own opinion on that whole topic. This particular article was about a recent Pediatrics study regarding babies in the first 6 months. This study found that babies who gain too much weight in the first 6 months have a higher risk of obesity by the age of 3. My first question – how much is too much? My next thought – who doesn’t love a chunky baby?? I have always hoped for one, however, that just wasn’t in the cards for me. They are too cute! One of my friends has a chubby baby and it’s tough to keep your hands off those cute little rolls! Whose to say she will grow up with a weight problem?

Do we now have to worry about obesity as soon as our babies enter this world??!! Isn’t this taking it a little too far? So now I have to watch the weight of my babies? I have a hard enough time with my own body for cryin’ out loud. For the most part babies under 6 months are primarily either bottle or breastfed. They have their own internal meter to stop eating when they are full. I can understand be conscientious after they start solid foods and making sure the options are healthy ones. I don’t understand how you can control their weight when all they have is milk and are crying from hunger. At least my brain is developed enough to understand when I want to cry from hunger….chocolate anyone?

A Weary Mother’s Tale

admin — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 22:37:36 +0000

You always hear the adage, sleep when the baby sleeps. In theory that is fantastic and wonderful. What happens when you have other children who don’t nap much? You are on call 24/7 without a break. That is the situation of my life right now. As I am trying to type this, my kids are driving me crazy! What creative thing do you do to get a break besides locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes?

Providing Even After Death

admin — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 00:30:25 +0000

Now that we are parents, we are responsible for another human being even after our death. I know how overwhelming this thought can be at times! Aside from emotionally providing, we also must provide financially. Have you stopped to think what would happen to your kids if you were to die? I know, I know, we don’t like talking about our own mortality. It can be scary, however necessary.

If you die before your kids are 18, what will happen to them? Do you have a will? Do you have life insurance? If you have some family members who you can’t imagine raising your children (I do!), please have a will written up! You can go to a lawyer or do some research and find software (I used Nolo software to write ours). Don’t leave it up to chance, your kids deserve better. Also, around half our population doesn’t have life insurance. I can’t emphasize how important this is! Even if you are a stay at home mom, you need some. If something happened to you, your hubby/partner will need to have money for daycare, housekeeper, etc. If our position were a paid one, we would make around $150,000 a year (yes, you are worth it)! In regards to life insurance, please promise me you will be a well informed consumer. Some free financial advice (if you are in the Portland, Oregon area my hubby can give you more)….only buy term insurance and don’t fall for the lie of whole life (it makes the company good money and you get screwed in the end. if you want me to explain, let me know). Make sure you read the policy and fully understand it before you sign. I will step off of that now:)

Not only are we to provide for our children now, but even after our death. Get those two things done now and you won’t have to think about them unless you have major life changes.

Lessons from our Kids

admin — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:06:54 +0000

I saw this in a magazine and thought it was to good to keep to myself. Isn’t it amazing what our kids can teach us? People wonder why I want a handful of kiddies and I am always mistaken for being younger than I am….hhhhmmm

8 Eternal Truths We Can Learn From Tykes

1. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even when there isn’t a prize in the box.

2. Your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.

3. If there’s even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave.

4. Homeworks blows. Bring work home with you and it’ll ruin your night. And your marriage.

5. There’s a reason they don’t give credit cards to 8-year-olds. You’re supposed to save up for a new toy.

6. The coolest adults are the ones who listen.

7. Adrenaline is the greatest drug.

8. Rain isn’t something to curse but to enjoy. Hurry up, before it clears.

by Mike Zimmerman and Duane Swierczynksi

Especially with the craziness of the season, take some cues from the little ones around you. Have fun with life! Your kids will think you are a pretty cool mom too:)

Just Don’t Buy the Same Clothes, Please…..

admin — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 22:06:21 +0000

I keep weighing myself to ease my mind. I know I’m not supposed to worry about weight when you are pregnant. The only problem, my belly has grown! I am about 13 weeks and this weekend I had to change out my wardrobe. I have been going back and forth a little for the last couple weeks. I was cleaning the house and finally decided to hang up all of my maternity clothes. The first task, try on all my pants to see if any of them will fit for a little while longer. I have already outgrown all of them! They were even loose because I had recently lost 15 pounds. I was shocked to say the least. I shouldn’t be completely out of my pants yet! It’s just at the beginning of the second trimester! It seems with each pregnancy, my belly grows quicker and quicker.

I spent my Sunday evening online clothes shopping. I love to have an excuse! Most of my maternity clothes had gone through me and a friend, all in all 7 pregnancies. I got rid of most of them after my last baby. They needed some updates and were well used. I know we all want to keep our style and be hot mamas. I am a thrifty (never call me cheap though) shopper. I love to sniff out a deal especially when it’s something that is expensive and I get an amazing deal (they make for great bragging rights). For clothing, I love eBay. There is just always so much, you can always find an amazing deal. I have been scouring and bidding away. Go to eBay and search for your new maternity wear, and if you need some baby clothes, it’s a great place to start. You better not bid on the same ones as I am:)

Happy to Have Morning (sometimes night) Sickness

admin — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 00:08:20 +0000

Usually when morning sickness hits, we dread it. Every morning (and sometimes night time) when I let loose, I am thankful. I tried to explain this to my hubby, at first he was pretty confused. My first doctor appointment isn’t for about 2 more weeks (a little later than normal, but that’s what happens when you have an awesome doctor and she is always busy). When I had my miscarriage, I wasn’t very sick at all. Every time I throw up, I see it as positive. This little baby has to be growing because the hormones are racing through my body still. With all of my other pregnancies, I haven’t felt as horrid as I do this time around. Thankfully it’s only a stage! My poor family hasn’t had too many homemade dinners lately and my house is messier than I want. I just keep telling myself, a short time of less than stellar nutrition won’t affect them long term (they probably won’t even remember this time). This too shall pass…this too shall pass…this too shall pass.

Sometimes I know I can be a wee bit crazy (or driven as some may say). Has anyone else ever felt this way too, thankful and happy to vomit?