With my head back in game, i have to share with you the amazing experiences i have had through this rough time. 

i have been blessed with amazing support.  i have had kind words from people i have never even met!  At one point i had about 10 women surrounding me praying!  i have had a tumultuous life.  i can say for the first time in my life i have felt worthy and truly loved for being me, not what i contribute or do for people.  Talk about an amazing feeling!  Thanks to all of you who have given me kind words, hugs, and prayers.

Perhaps its because of rest, or maybe this was the time it has always meant to be.  i have a better vision for my business  and where it will go.  Also, my desire to become a doula has been reborn.  i now want to incorporate some sort of grief help in there as well.

This is the most phenomenal part of it all and caused the most healing.  i wish i could paint because this would be a priceless picture.  A few years ago Kevin’s grandma Bev died from Alzheimer’s.  When i came on to the scene, she was already very far gone.  From all the stories i hear of her, i wish with all my heart i could have been a part of her life.  Truly one of those women you want to be like when u grow up.  i had a picture of this little toddler boy ( a little blondie of course) running out of a white light into the arms of grandma Bev.  She picked him up with this huge smile on her face, swung him around while he was giggling loudly.  That picture has brought an immense amount of peace.  Each time i start to linger on the sadness, i remember this beautiful picture and my heart is full with my eyes full of tears of love.