As I sit here in the waiting room waiting to rejoin my client who’s VBAC ended with a c-section, I am reminded how much of fertility, pregnancy, and childbirth is waiting.  As the saying goes “hurry up and wait”.  We wait for each time of ovulation  to hopefully get pregnant this cycle.  We wait for the next doctor appointment to see how we are doing and when we get there, we wait some more.  We wait those last few weeks when we feel like a house and are ready to meet our little one, we wait for birthing day.  Once labor pains begin, we wait on our bodies to tell us when to push.  Once our baby has been born, we wait to get the “all clear” to go back to our full schedules.  Perhaps all of this waiting is preparing us for the immense amount of love, patience, and nuturing we need to care for a child.  We mothers must be good at waiting right?  Maybe for some of us, it’s in our DNA.  I know for some (myself included), waiting can be as challenging as those labor pains.  I think a perfect balance of hurry up waiting and savoring the moment is within our reach.  Savor the moments that make us feel alive,  those moments our children steal our hearts yet again (yes, you know those moments, when you feel you could burst because of the love for them).  There are so many lessons our children are waiting to teach us, we just need to slow down and notice.  You can hurry up and wait when they are teenagers and you find yourself on the couch because curfew is soon approaching.  While they are small and even not yet born, savor the moments.  I know it’s a trite phrase, but it is so true “they grow up so fast”.  Even if you don’t have the pleasure of being surrounded by children, stop and remember the amazingness children bring to our lives, the lessons they teach, the love they so freely give, the laughter that is never far from their tongue, and their awesome curiosity.  If a child is near you, hug them and let them know how much they are loved.

One of the silly games I play with my kids……

“Why do I love you?” I ask

“Because I’m __________ (fill in the name).” they answer

One of those never ending debates among women…how far apart?  I come across numerous pregnant women and new mommies who ask this question.  Should they be close together or further apart?  How many years is best?  How long does it take for my body to recover from pregnancy and childbirth?

A report was published last December about the biological aspect.  Here is an article going over the results of that study.  It concluded that the first 6 months postpartum are vital for the mommy’s body to heal itself.  Waiting 11 months to conceive is recommended.  The article discusses the risk factors and statistics if you are interested in reading that aspect.

Some of the other details of child spacing that need to be considered are; Are both parents mentally and emotionally ready to add more responsibility?  What are the pros and cons of the sibling relationship if they are close in age or further apart?   Thinking ahead to when the kids graduate high school, how old do you want to be?  Is there a cut off age the mommy wants for being pregnant?

There is no exact, magic number.  It is a decision that each couple needs to make taking their lifestyle, opinions, and expectations into consideration.  If you are pondering this for your own life, take out a piece of paper, consider the questions, and write down your answers (there is something about writing them down).  Then, for the next few days just let your mind simmer.  After a few days revisit your answers.  Have they changed?  Are they still the same?  If they have changed, write down the new answers, again letting your mind simmer for a few days.  Keep doing this process until your answers remain the same.

Hopefully the questions prompted your mind to consider more questions to answer.  Leave a comment and let me know the questions you came up with.  Also, if you are one considering this for your own life, I would love to hear your thoughts!

How much time do we spend looking at reviews for a car seat, a stroller, a restaurant, a new appliance we need/want, and on and on and on?  How did you choose your care provider?  Did you ask around?  Did you go through the insurance provider book and pick one at random?  Did you call a local group of providers and get randomly assigned to a provider within that group?  Are you happy with the decision?  Do their philosophies correspond to your desires?  Did you wish you had more information on the doctor before deciding?

I know how daunting it can be to choose a care provider.  It is a huge decision and overwhelming when you consider all the choices!  You are trusting the health and safety of yourself and your unborn baby to this person.  The Birth Survey wants to step in and fill that gap.  If all the women who have given birth in the last 3 years took a few minutes to fill out a small survey on their specific care providers and specific place of birth, we could have a powerful database women can use to get the skinny on their local options.  We can all help (and use) to create this tool so women can make more informed choices.

Fill out your survey then search for reviews on your care provider and anticipated place of birth (we all know sometimes our bathroom or car get that glorious title instead of a hospital or birth center).

There has been controversy over the safety of baby slings lately. When used properly, they can be such a useful tool for us busy mamas. Here is a quick video from the tv show The Doctors on how to properly use a sling.

Baby Sling Safety

One of my favorite books is called The Best Loved Poems of the American People.  It is a compilation of poetry with a copyright date of 1936.  I recently came across a poem I had to share.  It is fascinating to see we have come full circle in our infant care.  Another interesting point, this sarcastic poem is written by a man.  Here is your laugh for the day.

The Modern Baby

“The hand that rocks the cradle”–but there is no such hand;

It is bad to rock the baby, they would have us understand;

So the cradle’s but a relic of the former foolish days

When mothers reared their children in unscientific ways–

When they jounced them and they bounced them, these poor dwarfs of long ago–

The Washingtons and Jeffersons and Adamses, you know.

They warn  us that the baby will possess a muddled brain

If we dandle him or rock him–we must carefully refrain;

He must lie in one position, never swayed and never swung,

Or his chance to grow to greatness will be blasted while he’s young.

Ah! To think how they were ruined by their mothers long ago–

The Franklins and the Putnams and the Hamiltons, you know.

Then we must feed the baby by the schedule that is made,

And the food that he is given must be measured out or weighed.

He may bellow to inform us that he isn’t satisfied,

But he couldn’t grow to greatness if his wants were all supplied.

Think how foolish nursing stunted those poor weaklings, long ago–

The Shakespeares and the Luthers and the Buonapartes, you know.

We are given a great mission, we are here today on earth

To bring forth a race of giants, and to guard them from their brith,

To insist upon their freedom from the rocking that was bad

For our parents and their parents, scrambling all the brains they had.

Ah!  If they’d been fed by schedule would they have been stunted so?

The Websters and the Lincolns and the Roosevelts, you know.

This is the U.S. Department of Defense’s guide on emergency childbirth. I think if doctors adhered to this, there would be many changes in our world; the US rate for maternal deaths during childbirth would decrees instead of increase, it would save some serious dough for the insurance companies who would pass along those savings, there would be many more women confident with their body, and interventions would be kept to a minimum.

Emergency Childbirth

A Reference Guide for Students

Medical Self-Help Training Course

Lesson No. 11

Emergency Childbirth

What To Do

1. Let nature be your best helper. Childbirth is a very natural act.

2. At first signs of labor assign the best qualified person to remain with mother.

3. Be calm; reassure mother.

4. Place mother and attendant in the most protected place in the shelter.

5. Keep children and others away.

6. Keep hands as clean as possible

7. Keep hands away from birth canal

8. See the babybr! eathes well.

9. Place the baby face down across the mother’s abdomen.

10. Keep baby warm.

11. Wrap afterbirth with baby.

12. Keep baby with mother constantly.

13. Make mother as comfortable as possible.

14. Identify baby.

What Not To Do

1. DO NOT hurry.

2. DO NOT pull on baby, let baby be born naturally.

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3. DO NOT pull on the cord, let the placenta (afterbirth) come naturally.

4. DO NOT cut and tie the cord until the baby AND the afterbirth have been delivered.

5. DO NOT give medication.

DO NOT HURRY – LET NATURE TAKE HER COURSE.

{emphasis is not mine – I copied this exactly as written}

I do apologize, the blog is going through some hormonal fluctuations. She has taken a mind of her own and developed an attitude. She should be in working order very soon! I am off to offer her some chocolate as a peace offering.