After any major event, it is good for us to stop and reflect on what took place, how we feel about it, and what we can learn from it. Childbirth is definitely a major event! Many women years later are still very emotional about all that took place (good and bad). For some the experience is a dream, however, for many there are parts that didn’t go so great. We know when we have moved passed a negative event when we can recall the event with calm emotion. Reflecting is a great way to sort through the positive and negative emotions, as well as learn the lessons we are being taught. It is only when we learn the lessons life offers that we get to move through onto a greater awareness and new experiences. If we don’t stop to learn what life teaches, we will be caught in the same cycle until we do. It may manifest itself in a different way, nonetheless, the essence of the lesson will be there waiting for our discovery. Let’s celebrate the positive and digest the negative of this life changing moment.

Describe the experience (factually, no emotions).
It helps to stand back as if just an observer. Pretend you are a “fly on the wall”. Be as
unbiased and objective as possible.
What was the succession of events?
Where were you?
Who was there?
Are there parts you don’t remember or are hazy?
What were people saying?
What thoughts went through your head?
Now, add in the feelings.
What were your different feelings through the whole experience? Why?
What was your partner feeling?
How did you know the feelings of those around you?
How was your body feeling? Was it tense and stressed? Was it relaxed and calm?
Reflection.
Why did you act as you did?
What alternative choices could you have made? What could the outcome have
been?
Were your goals and expectations met? Why or why not.
What was good and bad about the experience?
What were your assumptions at the beginning? Did they help or hinder you?
What internal/external factors influenced your decision making and actions?
Your new insight and learning.
How will this experience affect future choices?
What did you learn about yourself?
What did you learn about those around you?
Have your assumptions changed? Why or why not.
If the situation arises again, what would you do differently?
Share what you have learned with a close friend and be proud of your accomplishments!