As women we have fought for choice, we have fought for options with our lives, and we have fought for our voice to be heard.  What happened with childbirth?  It seems we have gone backwards.  We accept what the doctor says without exploring all our options, we suffer good patient syndrome,  and we lay on our backs to push because that’s what everyone else does.  It is time we take back our power over childbirth.  We are women of strength, and we are amazing! We need to give ourselves more credit! You really CAN do it with no epidural, I promise.

It saddens me that our c-section rate is going up and women don’t get that amazing pride of pushing out their baby. We have fought for the right to choice.  We so easily give up that choice to our care provider.  We have fought for options, however, we don’t explore them when it comes to having a baby.  If you are pregnant, research all of your options.   If your doctor tells you something and it doesn’t make sense, ask why.  If the doctor is concerned about something, go home,  do some research about it (unless of course it is life threatening to you or your baby), and find other women who have had the same experience.

For birth, the easiest way is to hire a doula.  If you can’t or don’t want to, do some research on different positions to labor and push in. The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin is well worth the investment!  If there is one book to get for pregnancy, find this one.  It’s a great conversation starter for your partner to help prepare him too. When you are in the midst of labor, you are more emotional and less analytical. Make sure you have a simple birth plan so the staff knows your wishes. Discuss your wishes with those who will be in the birthing room so they can speak up for you if need be and if there is a complication, they can rationally help you think through it.

Here is a post I did awhile back about advocating for yourself

Remember, if you choose a natural birth, when you start asking for drugs, you are in transition and pushing will commence shortly so hold on because you are almost there.

An amazing organization with a fantastic product out to do good in this world.  What could be better?  Please go to their website and see how you can be involved in helping babies around this world grow up instead of being a statistic.

The Embrace incubator

As Dr. John Kennell, a pioneer in the field of perinatal health care said, “If a doula were a drug, it would be malpractice not to use it.” I have personally used one and that experience inspired me to become a birth and postpartum doula myself.

When I say the word doula to most people, all I get back is a blank stare. I then have to explain what exactly I do. Are you one of those? Here is a great explanation I have created.

BIRTH DOULA
The professional birth assistant is a woman who tends to the birthing family from early labor until a little after the baby is born. She is trained to deliver continuity of care from home to hospital, be there through changing hospital shifts and alternating physician schedules; serve as advocate, labor coach, and support partner, and above all, help manage the fears of both parents. If it is a home birth, she is trained to take over tasks so the partner can be 100% present. A doula’s presence does not make a birth partner’s presence unnecessary. To the contrary, her presence frees the partner from certain aspects of concern and allows the partner to interact more closely with the birthing woman. The goal is to give the parents-to-be the freedom to focus inward and increase the intimacy of the experience for both the mother and her partner as they meet the challenges and rewards of their unique birthing experience, thereby leaving her with a sense of empowerment and a beautiful and positive birth memory.

POSTPARTUM DOULA
A postpartum doula is a non-judgmental woman with a quiet presence in the home. Most postpartum doulas are mothers themselves who have their own children and enjoy motherhood. By giving emotional and breastfeeding support along with practical newborn care tips and taking care of necessary household tasks such as: grocery shopping; meal preparation; doing the dishes, laundry or tending to the older children, postpartum Doulas help ease the transition into motherhood.

Unlike a baby nurse who focuses her care solely on the newborn, a postpartum doula encourages and teaches parents how to care for their newborn, to interpret their baby’s cues, and to trust their instincts in responding to their baby’s needs, infusing the parents with the confidence and support they need to develop their own parenting style.

I caught the first half of Oprah today.  I know, I know, sounds like the typical housewife huh?  Jenny McCarthy was on talking about her new book, Mother Warriors.  She introduced us to Monica.  After going through a painful divorce, she never thought she would find love again.  In walks Tony, they date and become engaged.  Monica gives birth to their daughter, Monica’s second baby.  She also had a then 9 year old.  After giving birth, she somehow obtained a flesh eating bacteria.  She lost some of her organs and eventually both legs and arms.  This is the most inspiring woman!  She never had a pity party, and never whined.  She began rehab and said she wanted to double whatever time they required.  Instead of 2 hours, she worked for 4 hours.  She just wanted to get back to her girls and fiancé.  While in the hospital going through her 37 surgeries and 4 months of rehab, she and Tony got married.  In a blue gown, in her hospital bed next to him, they said their vows.  She has learned to care for her girls, husband, and run the household with no arms and legs.  You really need to read the rest of the story!  She is certainly one of the most inspiring mothers I have ever come across!

i know politics are all people are talking about, especially Sarah Palin. Will you indulge me for a moment and leave your opinions? i adore this woman for many reasons, one of which she is a mom just like me. She reminds me of someone i would run into at the grocery store. Her speech last night was inspiring!

She is coming under criticism.  People question if she can handle being a mom to 5 kids (one with special needs), and the responsibility of a vice president.  Would this be a question if she was a man?  i heard this morning that fellow women are even questioning her.  This really saddens me!  It almost seems we as women are hindering the breaking of the glass ceiling Hillary Clinton cracked.  What happened to women being able to do anything a man can?  My neighbor has a child with cerebral palsy, she is a single mom and has to work (the seperation is amicable and both parties agreed).  Is she judged for her decisions?  my mom used to watch a little girl with severe disabilities.  Was her mom judged for working?  Perhaps a double standard..hhmm.  Sarah Palin has an amazing husband (not to mention easy on the eyes *wink*) and he is very hands on.  If you are a mother who has a child with special needs, wouldn’t you want an advocate that close to the top instead of questioning if she can be a mom and a vice president?  Was JFK questioned about these things, if he could handle being a father and a president with young children?

Politics aside (i am having to bite my tongue because she has already been a successful Governor with an 80% approval rating), she represents the very lesson we teach our daughters.  You can do anything you want!  my 4 year old daughter talks about how she wants to “be a doctor who helps mommies have babies” and wants to have her own babies when she “gets big as you (me, her mommy)”.  i don’t say well, honey, i’m not sure if you can handle the pressure and time commitment.  NO, i say awesome (and in my head think, i hope she can get some scholarships)!  Actually, my fabulous OB-GYN, Dr Wentross, her hubby is a stay at home dad who does an amazing job.  i suspect Todd Palin (First Dude as he likes to  be called) will be one as well, if he isn’t already.   Wouldn’t you want a mommy at the top who understands what its like raising kids and being a working mom?

If you missed her speech….part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

i am really curious to hear what everyone else thinks about this subject.  This is about being a high powered working mom, not politics.  Please no political statements.

Our family was home all day Saturday and we had the Olympics on.  Running seemed to be the theme for awhile.  It is the only sport my athletic loving 5 year old watched completely enthralled.  It makes this running lover mama super proud!  Anyways, my hubby and i were watching the Olympic Marathon that evening.  He kept asking, “How long is it again?”.  Tomescu from Romania, was spectacular!  The last leg was once around the track inside the Bird’s Nest.  The crowd was screaming and cheering.  While being astonished by how fast she was, i began to get the chills and a little teary eyed.  All i could say over and over again, “WOW!”.  Can you imagine that feeling?  You have been training and training for the pinnacle of your sport.  Your training pays off, you get the gold, and you get the cheering of thousands and thousands of people to get you through that last little bit.  WHEW!  How amazing!!

Many doctors equate giving birth to a marathon.  After 2 natural births (my third was a C-section because of a rare condition neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia), i get that.  In my opinion, giving birth is the pinnacle of womanhood.  Woman have been given the special gift of bearing children.  i know it’s a little old fashion and perhaps controversial.  Isn’t it organic though?  It’s what our bodies were created to do.  Don’t get me wrong, i do believe very much in birth control.  Without that, i would have a mass of children, a gynormous food bill, and have to dye my gray hair every month.  If this is going to be such an intense experience, wouldn’t we want a little training?  Instead of struggling at the end like Paula Radcliffe of Great Britain who wasn’t able to finish the 2004 Olympics, with training, you can be at the front of the race and have a more enjoyable experience.  Imagine as your partner is asking “How much longer?”, the nurses and doctors are cheering you on to get you through that last little bit.  i know how busy life can be (oh do i know).  Birthing Classes may be put on the hold until all of a sudden you find yourself in the hospital in labor.  Go to Birthright and sign up for the virtual childbirth classes.  Now you can be prepared to enjoy those whoops and hollers when you are on the home stretch and your baby is about to make his/her appearance.

Birthright offers four different options depending on your personality.  You can choose the 12 week, 7 week, or self-paced course.  If you prefer a paperback version, that is also available.  You will have unlimited access to Study Womb which has numerous tools to help you.  Also, there is a private forum to be able to ask your questions to a childbirth educator.  The creators of Birthright believe so much in their course, they provide a 100% money back gauruntee within 8 weeks.  You have no reason not to try this innovative new approach to childbirth classes.

Please send me your stories and experiences with these childbirth classes.  i want to feature them in a later post.

Here’s to a safe, smooth birth for you and baby!

This has been one of those crazy weeks that leave you doubting your sanity and ability to juggle all the balls at the same time.  I had some extra kids, trying new parenting techniques from Love and Logic, and just the usual busy we have going on with 3 young ones (the oldest is getting ready for kindergarten!), a business, and a household (which reminds me, i really need to get my kitchen floor clean!  tomorrow??).  There have not been many moments to sit and breath.  Running with no headphones provides me those small moments of peace i am desperate for.  i went for my run yesterday morning as usual.  As i was chugging along (the joy of choosing a hilly route!)  All of a sudden i saw an older woman i would guess mid fifties running toward me.  She had short, just below the ears curly blond/gray hair.  She had on black spandex shorts with a turquoise tank and listening to some headphones (and in great shape i might add).  i can see her so clearly!  She looked at me with a big grin and enthusiastically said “You go girl!!”  This was no usual passing.  Usually i can see someone coming because i keep my eyes up looking at the landmarks.  i like to play mind games with myself so i don’t stop when it gets hard.  Usually i get a wave, a smile, or many times a quick hi.  After this woman passed my whole back began to tingle.  It started at the base of my spine and went all the way to the top of my head (all through my chakras if you believe in them).  In all of my experiences with the spiritual world, i have never before had this intense of a physical response.  i think i was just encouraged by an angel!